I trust in the divine flow. I may not see the beginning or the end, but I trust just the same. I know I am fully provided for. I know I am strong, powerful, radiant, and true. I surrender to the divine flow. To my highest good. I allow all to flow through me, light and shadow alike, without suppression or fear. Embodying transmutation and regeneration. I trust the process. .. In perfection. ..In every moment...
Today is my wedding day...
I am simultaneously integrating how to be more vulnerable, open, allowing and receptive: and how to set boundaries, be assertive, and master protection... Sacred union of the masculine and feminine. Balancing. My masculine honors, cares for, protects, and provides for my feminine. My feminine honors, allows, nurtures and trusts my masculine. I am my TRUEST beloved.
I am being tested on how well I can release my attachments and need for control to the most extreme limits right now, in every aspect of my life. The overwhelming pain and disappointment I feel in my heart is such an opportunity to surrender. It is something sacred.
The sacred can be defined as something that you cannot gain, only receive. Meaning you cannot make it be there when it's not, and you cannot make it go away when it is. Love is the essence of sacred.
And just as sacred is Heartbreak: Love unbound by an object. The moment when you realize everything you thought was so perfect and what you wanted is gone, is not what it seemed: That is Heartbreak.
That is the pure power of the human experience. That is sacred...
I feel very called to share a deep and extremely crucial integration of understanding that has resulted in a deep change in my life. This is a vulnerable and humbling expression of my process on my path to deeper truth and integrity. As many of you may know, I have been a "smoker" of tobacco on and off for many years. Due to my dedication to self mastery, reflections from the ones I love, and the wisdom of the grandmother vine medicine, I am proud to say I have come into a place of right relation with the Tobacco plant spirit.
In my journeys to the deep levels of my subconscious self, I have discovered that I have been holding a deep guilt, and fear of death around smoking. Addiction to nicotine and alcohol have run through my ancestry for generations, taking the lives of many of my relatives... Running all the way down to this current generation, manifesting in my behavior and the habits and behavior of my siblings. I have been given the clear message that this current generation is clearing the karma of our ancestors and history that has come before us, so we may move into the new paradigm free of any karmic burdens or suffering. Knowing this information, it has become clear to me that a huge piece of my personal ancestral clearing is to consciously cut this cycle of addiction and make peace and new relation to the sacred tobacco plant.
In addition, as I have been stepping into my full power and role as a healer, facilitator of ceremony, performer, and a public figure, I have had to bring every single aspect of my life into alignment...with no room for exceptions, So that I may show up as a clear channel and pristine example as a leader. If I cannot focus my energy and discipline to do something that is hard, but for my highest good, how can I show up as an leader with integrity? The only pure way to lead is to lead by example... Refinement is hard, but the work is worth it, as we show up for ourselves to be better, clearer human beings to the best of our ability.
But perhaps the deepest teaching that has inspired this shift in me is the connection to the spirit and story of Grandfather Tobacco. Tobacco is considered the most holy Sacrament among the original North American People. It is the bridge to the spirit world, the carrier of the prayers and intentions of the people to the spirits, to be heard and received. It is the connector of the people to the land, to the plants, and serves as emissary and protector. When this truth is seen, it is of no surprise that this world is laden with such sickness and disease. The majority of people who use tobacco do so in a very unconscious way, when they are worried or stressed out. So literally, all those worries and ill thoughts are blown into the spirit world as prayers, prayers for exactly what we don't want. Then we see it manifest in every inharmonious way in our world...
The most sacred sacrament of this land has been industrialized and poisoned and warped in such a deep way, and the consequences are clear...
The spirit of Tobacco has made it clear to me: he is a powerful ally, servant, and guide. And he demands RESPECT.
He commands balance...clarity....INTENTION.
And so, from here on out, I will lead by example. I will offer my tobacco to the earth...I will use this sacrament for prayer and setting intention and purification...In balance, and moderation, and reverence. When I see the issue from this perspective, the path is simple...I have no choice but to come into alignment...and so, the shift is simple. I would like to inspire others who may be out of balance with tobacco that it can be this simple!
I am writing on the inspiration of all life's experiences. No filter, all raw. This blog contains everything from stories, prayers, words for thought, and updates. Full spectrum expression from my heart to yours...